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I was a real person

My name is synonymous with sin

like Eve (I guess) and others

My name means ‘Man’s sin’

That is my legacy

That is the shame I must now shed

 

I was a real person

And when he saw me bathing

he thought I was an object

He wanted my hollywood-good-looks

He was a king, entitled

he thought – to own me

 

I was a real person

I had a beautiful husband

Uriah, who took my feminine flower

and  loved me – with delicacy

I loved him

and I was his one and only

 

I was a real person

After the assault, I felt dirty

I hung my head in shame

I could not look into Uriah’s eyes

my beloved Uriah

Then, they sent him to death

 

I was a real person

After the murder, I was numb

On the inside I was dead

buried beside my Uriah

But I was summoned to give pleasure

to a king who didn’t have enough

 

I was a real person

After my baby died, I wept

This time I was allowed to grieve

the king had also lost a son

A prophet came to speak words

the long-awaited justice

 

I was a real person

I picked up the pieces

I birthed other children

learnt to live with strangers

washed and dressed like a queen

tried to comfort my soul

 

I was a real person

Had I said no at the beginning

like Vashti, or Abigail

the story would have differed

But I was young

And I wanted to live

 

I was a real person

My name has another meaning:

daughter of my oath

I made an oath once

It was a sacred oath:

‘Only you shall I love’

 

I am a real person

 

(Lyn Beattie)

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